Another day where I just might run screaming away from the ooookiefactor.
Slept hard. So hard the only thing to wake me is the feel of something crawling on my arm. Figured it was my imagination.
Next I roll over and feel something in the bed......small and wiggly.....then the smell of rotten bananas!
I Come full awake and fling the covers back which throws the cat against the wall! I Flail around looking for the stink bug.
It was not just one but two entwined in passion.
Oooooookie factor just doubled.
I Brush their slightly mangled bodies out of the bed and their are legs left behind that are in a death grip with the fabric of my night gown.
At this point I realize I have bug guts in my chest.
I Pick those legs and guts off one at a time...
ewww
ugh!
Gag.
The crazy big dog comes down the hallway to save me.
She gets her front paws on the bed and lets an explosive fart that would knock down the stink of a room full of rotten potatoes. Her Breath stinks worse than a three day old corpse.
I get up and dress.
I am in the living room and am engulfed in stink bug perfume.
Dog goes crazy trying to save me.
I Trip over dog get bit on foot.
Little dog attacks big dog.
I Must save chihuahua from being eaten or killed.
I feel something in my hair, stuck in my curls and can't get it out.
I run to the bathroom where my son half naked jumps out of the shower and drippingly paws through my hair!
Guess what!....he finds nothing.
Dogs continue to fight and bark fiercely at each other.
The stink bug perfume continues to engulf us.
Gag gag,
Wretch.
I go back out and open the curtains, then sit down thinking I must of knocked the bug off when A moment later I feel it again!
It's in my pants and the smell is horrid. From the bug!
I strip my clothes of and realize there are people walking by and a car stopped out front.
I am in front of the windows!
Dogs have started trying to find what is bothering me. They growl and bark at each other.
Chihuahua runs down hallway chasing imaginary rabbit with delusions of greyhound (obvious to anyone watching.)
I stumble to the kitchen area and finish striping.
Shaking my clothes out and hoping my kids don't come out of their rooms.
My big toe gets caught in my pants and i hear an audible cracking. Owww owe!
Something flings out of my pants and lands on the floor.
No it's not my toe.
The big crazy dog of my husbands attacks what ever came out of my pants.
Pouncing with her front feet and then teeth.
I tell her good girl and praise her as I quickly redress limping with my bit foot and now my toe swelling.
I go over to look and there, crushed by the crazy dogs powerful jaws is a stink bug!
Victory!
Ack...just then another buzzes by my head and I duck and cover.
I am now tempted to hide in a closet with a can of bug spray.
The smell of stink bug has made me nauseous.
If you see me running down the street or driving fast away from the area......for gods sake get out of the way.
Really I am not crazy. Well maybe a little. But bugs don't usually bother me.
Slept hard. So hard the only thing to wake me is the feel of something crawling on my arm. Figured it was my imagination.
Next I roll over and feel something in the bed......small and wiggly.....then the smell of rotten bananas!
I Come full awake and fling the covers back which throws the cat against the wall! I Flail around looking for the stink bug.
It was not just one but two entwined in passion.
Oooooookie factor just doubled.
I Brush their slightly mangled bodies out of the bed and their are legs left behind that are in a death grip with the fabric of my night gown.
At this point I realize I have bug guts in my chest.
I Pick those legs and guts off one at a time...
ewww
ugh!
Gag.
The crazy big dog comes down the hallway to save me.
She gets her front paws on the bed and lets an explosive fart that would knock down the stink of a room full of rotten potatoes. Her Breath stinks worse than a three day old corpse.
I get up and dress.
I am in the living room and am engulfed in stink bug perfume.
Dog goes crazy trying to save me.
I Trip over dog get bit on foot.
Little dog attacks big dog.
I Must save chihuahua from being eaten or killed.
I feel something in my hair, stuck in my curls and can't get it out.
I run to the bathroom where my son half naked jumps out of the shower and drippingly paws through my hair!
Guess what!....he finds nothing.
Dogs continue to fight and bark fiercely at each other.
The stink bug perfume continues to engulf us.
Gag gag,
Wretch.
I go back out and open the curtains, then sit down thinking I must of knocked the bug off when A moment later I feel it again!
It's in my pants and the smell is horrid. From the bug!
I strip my clothes of and realize there are people walking by and a car stopped out front.
I am in front of the windows!
Dogs have started trying to find what is bothering me. They growl and bark at each other.
Chihuahua runs down hallway chasing imaginary rabbit with delusions of greyhound (obvious to anyone watching.)
I stumble to the kitchen area and finish striping.
Shaking my clothes out and hoping my kids don't come out of their rooms.
My big toe gets caught in my pants and i hear an audible cracking. Owww owe!
Something flings out of my pants and lands on the floor.
No it's not my toe.
The big crazy dog of my husbands attacks what ever came out of my pants.
Pouncing with her front feet and then teeth.
I tell her good girl and praise her as I quickly redress limping with my bit foot and now my toe swelling.
I go over to look and there, crushed by the crazy dogs powerful jaws is a stink bug!
Victory!
Ack...just then another buzzes by my head and I duck and cover.
I am now tempted to hide in a closet with a can of bug spray.
The smell of stink bug has made me nauseous.
If you see me running down the street or driving fast away from the area......for gods sake get out of the way.
Really I am not crazy. Well maybe a little. But bugs don't usually bother me.
0 comments:
Post a Comment